After having the greatest time of his life three summers ago, Lenny (Adam Sandler), decides he wants to move his family back to his hometown and have them grow up with his gang of childhood friends and their kids. But between old bullies, new bullies, schizophrenic bus drivers, drunk cops on skis, psycho grade school girlfriends and 400 costumed party crashes he finds out that sometimes crazy follows you.
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I've seen many many......many exorcism movies from great ones like the Exorcist and The Exorcist III, to bad ones such as Exorcist II: The Heretic. Ok..so I picked on one trilogy..shoot me. The Cloth is about a group of priests that use Bond-esque weapons against demons. Danny Trejo is top billed but get nearly no screen time. I nearly turned it off after seeing and hearing almost duplicate scenes from other movies. Especially when the "new" recruit is given a weapon and he says "How am I supposed to use this thing? I feel like I'm going to break this damn thing" right out of Men in Black. Avoid this stinker.
Finally! For years people have asked me what the worst movie I ever saw was. Now I know. Poor acting, embarrassing effects, bad makeup, nonsensical plot, comical understanding of faith, terrible direction, offensive to the point of anger, random idiocy, and stupid dialogue. Borrows from many genres (ninja, occult, spy, superhero, horror, zombie, sci-fi, B movie) yet manages to be the worst caricature of each at the same time. Cut from the wrong "cloth" (I couldn't help it), one is tempted to think this DVD is possessed by a demonic creature of offensive, unintentional and unnecessary black comedy. Holy grenades, its an exorcist superhero!
I've had food poisoning that's been better than the cloth. Seriously horrible Mexican food diarrhea That I would prefer over this movie. I wish that there was a way I could sue for the time I lost watching this abomination called a movie.Justin Price... why, why would you do this? Take a shit in my eyes and try to pass it as a movie. The only thing I hate more than this movie is you. This film was a train wreck of poor plot, terrible acting, and the worst CGI to ever shame the screen. See this movie if you want to know what unforgettable shame and disappointed are.
Imagine a movie that does everything wrong and you have an idea of what "The Cloth" is. Poor acting and delivery, zero character development, an abysmal plot, craptastic editing, bad cg, and zero originality. But the worst part is that it offends Texans and Catholics, both of whom are the target audience.
Posted on: January 13th, 2017
Posted by: aragon
